I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
