i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do vagina's smell?
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I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
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The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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