Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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