how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
