a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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