Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
