i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
