So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize