What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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