if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
