Too much gin, very little bucket
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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