So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
