They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
