there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
