No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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