what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
