I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize