I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
