dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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