Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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