Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
