What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he fucked my hip out of place.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
