There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize