Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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