you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
