you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
