Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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