Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
