fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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