she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize