There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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