break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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