Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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