I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
