You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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