carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
