Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
