Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
