the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
