do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
