i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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