i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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