How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
is it fun? or sober?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
