he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
