she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
