My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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