He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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