How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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