You can't motorboat a personality
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize