just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
