I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
