this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
