Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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