I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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