Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I intend to get homeless drunk
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Still dying that you shit outside
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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