I accidentally had phone sex last night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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