i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
