we're chasing vodka with high fives
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wish i was in the wii world.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
