She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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